Eternity is not a long time

I squeeze the brown cream between my hands.

Little, innocent hands. Hands that know little of life.

Hands that see the sand and laugh.

Hands that have existed here for three years.

I close my eyes and say

Eternity is a very long time.

 

The sun beats down on my pale back.

The breeze weaves through my hair.

The sea washes over me, brushing the sand away.

I am not free yet, being sixteen, but I can see it is approaching this way.

I close my eyes and say

Eternity is a long time.

 

I spit the grains out next to me, yet they remain in my mouth.

I sigh as the earth clings to my drink, feeding me more.

I laugh as my son splashes in the sea, enjoying his childhood.

I am thirty. This is my vacation. I’m enjoying it.

I close my eyes and say

Eternity is not a long time.

 

The sea chills my aching bones.

The sun burns my exposed flesh. I do not

Feel comfort or relaxation or happiness.

At eighty, this beach only makes me feel pain.

I close my eyes and say

Eternity is fast approaching.

 

I close my eyes. I open my eyes.

I close my eyes. I open my eyes.

I close my eyes. I open my eyes.

The white light burns no matter what.

The clean, white nurse scrubs my broken body,

All the while I sigh whilst the doctor writes.

I know that once I close my eyes and open

Them then everything will be over.

I close my eyes and say

Eternity is a very long time.